he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
