Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
