I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
