He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
