I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
