dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
