The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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