yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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