I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
