he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
