My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
