i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
