Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
