OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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