Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
