Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
