I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
