Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
