Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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