In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you win again, gameday.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
