I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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