you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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