I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
