it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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