A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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