She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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