And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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