and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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