the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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