He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
