Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
there's paper in my vomit.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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