The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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