I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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