Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
