not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
