So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
