bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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