Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
