That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
