hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
