You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
