I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
