I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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