Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
