Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
