thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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