Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
