i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
