that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
