I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
