That's intense
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
